Ordinary Criminals: NYC Edition

A gavel and a name plate with the engraving Judgment

Its no secret that NYC crime is down, a fact even more publicized thanks to the bickering about it on last year’s presidential debates, causing the entire nation to simultaneously google our city’s crime stats. However, there’s a different kind of criminal that’s continued to slip under the radar and infest our city streets: The type that invade your personal bubble, block your way to work, and make your subway rides a daily contemplation for farm life. They’re the everyday, obliviously inconsiderate, average moron who blatantly ignore the unspoken laws of our city, and they need to be stopped. Here are some of my top offenders.

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How To Annoy Your Friends Less On Social Media This Year


2017 is upon us. Social media isn’t going anywhere, and neither is the girl you took 10th grade Geometry with who posts eleven identical cat selfies every day before noon. As much as we still try to pretend that social media is this amazing tool for connecting the masses and bringing global awareness to important issues, in reality, it’s still just a mindless click-bait junkyard complete with a festering pool of over-filtered, egotistical sludge.

I’m not trying to be hypocritical, because I’ll be first to admit that I use social media for narcissism and shameless self-promotion just as much as the next guy.

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The Death of the Headphone…And my Sanity.


With the recent birth of the new suckfest that is the headphone-jack-less iPhone 7, I thought I’d talk a little bit about the recent implosion of cell phone etiquette and abandonment of the headphone. Because lately…Something is happening:

Everyone has stopped caring about being a dick. Continue reading